Here’s a good idea for a kid’s movie. Let’s get all of the Universal monsters (Dracula, Frankenstein, The Mummy, The Wolfman, and the Creature From the Black Lagoon) and have them face off against the Little Rascals. It’s done ’80s style with lots of cheesy music, bad acting and language that would never be found in a kid’s movie today.
I really hate kid’s movies these days because they really pussy out and don’t use foul language, show half naked teenage girls, or scare the hell out of little kids. What’s the goddamn point? Just animate some shit, throw a Pixar logo on it and you’ll make a billion dollars. Big deal. Take a lesson from the ’80s and create some quality films. I hate Hollywood and I hate the youth of today. Now get the hell off my lawn, you punk kids!
What did I learn from The Monster Squad?
- I mentioned in my Teen Wolf post that every ’80s movie has a fat character – this movie even calls him “Fat Kid” (although we later learn that his real name is Horace)
- the actor who played Fat Kid died in 1997 from pneumonia (talk about a downer)
- Jason Hervey, the douche who played Wayne on the Wonder Years, made a career out of playing assholes
- the cool kid in this movie wears Wayfarers, smokes, wears fingerless gloves, AND rides a bike
- Dracula is a prick and calls a little girl “bitch”
- Scary German Guy is a Holocaust survivor
- the guy from the Sopranos (David Proval) looks exactly the same in 1987 as he does today – EXACTLY!
- look for the Lucio Fulci Zombi poster in the treehouse
- why do kids always have treehouses in movies? I never had one
- Jon Gries who played the Wolfman in this film went on to play a werewolf in Fright Night 2
- gratuitous use of the terms “faggot” and “homo” were acceptable in 1987 children’s films
- Bud Bundy’s little brother writes a letter to Army guys who actually respond near the end of the film
- the teenage chick is a bit of a slut
- Monster Squad went with Burger King for the fast-food tie-in (Burger King? Really?)
Do I recommend this film?
Meh. I can go either way on The Monster Squad. If you like horror flicks (specifically Universal monster movies), I’d recommend checking it out. This film is often compared to the Goonies & The Lost Boys but this movie is not nearly as good as either of those films. I first saw this when I was 12 years old. I knew then that the film wasn’t wonderful. A lot of horror nerds seem to hold this film up as the Holy Grail of ’80s horror movies. It is not. As I mentioned, the film does have balls for a kid’s movie. I’ll give it that much credit.
Watch the theatrical trailer here:
4 responses so far ↓
Phronk // October 4, 2008 at 4:08 pm |
I gotta disagree with you here…maybe it’s just nostalgia talking, but Monster Squad is my favourite movie ever. Better than Goonies and Lost Boys by far (though those are both awesome too). I think it’s aged surprisingly well, and there just aren’t movies like it being made any more.
Mark Wilson // October 4, 2008 at 5:44 pm |
I won’t disagree with you that there aren’t movies like it being made any more. I know how much a lot of fans love this film and I’m definitely in the minority on The Monster Squad.
Toby Graham // October 29, 2008 at 11:27 am |
I never saw this as a small person. Watched this last night on your recommendation and enjoyed it very much. Well as much as you can humanly enjoy an 80’s kids horror film. I will however disagree with Phronk and say it’s nowhere near as good as The Goonies and Lost Boys.
Goonies is a masterpiece and the Lost Boys had Corey Feldman and the Cry Little Sister song!
In other news, talking South Korea, I recommend you watch this SK movie, had me in bits. My Sassy Girl (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0293715/)
peace
Mark Wilson // October 29, 2008 at 11:32 am |
Toby,
The Monster Squad is pretty decent. I still like Goonies & The Lost Boys better but it’s a good movie.
Thanks for the tip on My Sassy Girl. I’ll have to check it out.